Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
