I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
