I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
