what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
