it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'd cum for enchiladas.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
