I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Panties = found
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