I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
