I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
