I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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