After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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