you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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