I could have mohawked her pubes.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
