There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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