If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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