put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
