this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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