He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
