Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
