Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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