She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
wow bdsm is so cute
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