weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
