My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
