someone owes me an orgasm
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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