My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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