He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
