So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I believe in your delicious
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
