can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
