Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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