apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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