i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
