Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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