hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
