You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
