At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
