But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
