I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
