how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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