Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
