I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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