It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
