Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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