Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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