Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
