i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
