Quick, to the slutcave!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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