Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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