We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
