so that wasnt chicken after all
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
