people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
