She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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