The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
