I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
