I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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