my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
